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Dear Abby

Dear abby,

Got a problem. I'm a decent, underpaid, hardworking county coroner. it's
Important that my family eat meat at least three times a week. but we just can't
Afford to with the prices the way they are. so I bring home some choice cuts from my
Autopsy subjects. just mix in the tuna helper??and ta-da!

The whole family thinks my new meals are delicious. they ask me what's
My secret. abby, I think they're getting suspicious. my smart-ass 8-year-old keeps
Asking, where's all the meat? the red dye #2 kind that's kept in the fridge.

If they find out the truth I don't think they'll understand. abby, what do I tell
My family?
Dear reaganomics victim: consult your clergyman. make sure the body's
Blessed and everything should be just fine.

Dead Kennedys

Dear Abby / Dead Kennedys

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