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Merry Muthafuckin X-Mas

[Uncle Dolamite]

Come on over hunnie

and give your uncle Dolamite a kiss

[*kissing Sounds*]

well what you want baby?


Would you tell me a story?

[Uncle Dolamite]

You want me to tell you a story?


Hell yeah!

[Other Baby]

Me too!

[Uncle Dolamite]

Yes Hunnie I'm a tell you a story

about the bad ass Eazy-E

he was drinkin' whisky and gin at the age of three

listen and listen well

he's a bad Muthafu-


Gimmie that god damn book!

here let me read you this one

Chrismas in Compton

it was a silent night, yes a holy night

until Mr. Claus turned into Santa muthafuckin' right?


Deck the halls with balls of holy

fa la la la la la la la la

tis the season to be jolly....


Merry Chrismas muthafucka!

[*Gun Shots*]

Merry muthafuckin' Chrismas and a ho ho ho!

while I'm ridin' that cot under the missle toe

now dashin' through the snow

in a candy right top 6-4

over the hills I go

laughin' at this hoe

nuts on rich and rings

makin' me feel right

oh what fun it is to know

that I'm gonna get this pussy tonight

so ring them bells, ring them bells

shes takin' it all the way

oh what fun it is to watch her suck my dick this way

hey ring them bells, ring them bells

shes takin' it all the way

oh what fun it is to nut, while she's suckin' my dick

oh yay!

tis the season to get busy

compton crime lick

and I'm smokin' on this stick.


Ho ho ho come sit on my face

I'm mean lap and tell me what you want for Chrismas

ho ho.


I want a slay ride

a cd player

a fifty rum

??? and I'm gonna cum

a VCR ???? some porno flicks

rudolph the red nose reindeer

??? like a everlastin' gobstoper

??? poppa

I dig a ho

crack a dough

by the nuts oh

???? fuckin' in tha snow

I made him drop to his knees

yeah you know whats up

I said heres some candy canes eat'em up

???? bonapatite with a condom in a tree.


All I want for Chrismas is my two front teeth

my two front teeth, my two front teeth

All I want for Chrismas is my two front teeth

yo wheres ya rhyme tell me buck wheat.

[Buck wheat]

Buck wheat is a waskal

thats no Chrismas

and all the toys, boys and girls

fuck ya wishes

I got happy over joy in this muthafucka

no indo under my tree so Santa be a sucka

??? when I was young I was the only kid

who had enough guts to be

good ole hearin' on the East

I'd stay awake just to let america know

that Santa was a fake

I used to believe in Saint Dick when Elvis was alive

but all the fuckin' bullshit got played when I was five

years oh just stay young, bold datin'

singin' Silent Night Carolin' Recietin'

now all I want for Chrismas is my indo wreath

I got my two front teeth

uncle Eazy be the ????

just spread me a leaf

little kids don't cry

when you find out the Santa Claus is just a fuckin' lye.


On the third day of Chrismas my homeboys gave to me

three pounds of indo

two birds of cocaine

and a A muthafuckin' K bitch.


Eazy-E oh Eazy-E

show us how you treat those bitches

I saw mommy fuckin' Eazy-E.


close the door little bitch

I'm gettin' these draws.


I'm a tell my daddy if ya ass don't stop.


I don't give a fuck

I'm gettin' chrismas caught

ho ho ho and away I go.


Oh Saint Nick got a dick like a ho

well wheres this ????


Shut the fuck up bitches

and go back to sleep.


Yo black what you want for Christmas?

yo black I want a job

??? corn on the cob

but a nigga will eat them chicken, and

chitlens, watermelon, corn bread and some food

whos climbin' in my window

smokin' up indo

my carin' and high make a high know

[*A lot of mumblin'*]

Yo black what you want for Christmas?

yo black I want some cash

so I can buy some indo, some chronic and some hash.


a rump pa pump pump

a rump pa pump pump

[Every One]

Merry Muthafuckin' Chrismas

Merry Muthafuckin' Chrismas

Merry Muthafuckin' Chrismas

and have a fucked up new year (x4)


You Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!!


And they all went to prison

and lived fucked up lives ever after

The End

Merry Muthafuckin X-Mas /

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