if every day was the same, i would have died years ago. my calendar is marked with blood red x's for every twenty-four hours i've suffered through. today has been cluttered with broken teeth and filthy stitches and a conscience that won't shut up. now, i understand that your worst is beating the hell out of my best, and i can take it. the one thing that i'll ever get is how you turned out like all the rest...but i can take it, and that says a lot about the difference between me and you. if you're all i've got i'll have nothing left after what i'm about to do. so let's begin this autumn drive - one jerk of the wheel and we'll see how cold this november water really is and i'll watch your blood run thin through infected wounds and softened scars again. today was my favorite kind of day - filled with the things we fear will find us where we sleep and fuck us where we breathe...the things that won't just fade away the way i let you fade away. today was my favorite kind of day.