Change, please? Christmas change.
Happy holidays y'all, give me a gift
Let me sing a little jingle while you drink that fifth (Jingle Bells)
Tell Santa that he better stop frontin'
That cookie eatin' mother fucker never leavin' nothin'
But this year I swear I won't let it happen
Sleighs, gifts and reindeer we Christmas jackin' (gimme that)
Surround sound, hot chocolate for days
Bumpin' through the neighborhood, actin' like we paid (look what we got)
We had to get him, it was just that time
J and I was fed up, and we wanted to shine (wanted to shine)
But now we got anything you ever wanted
Yeah, he was old but he had a fat wallet (cha-ching)
Only workin' one day a year
With a plush-red suit and a iced-out beard
Slingin' snow in the north pole to a bunch of fiends
Little guys with big ears that make toys for free
Santa Claus, I hate you because (I hate you Santa)
You gave me nothin', now I'm takin' yours (I'll take it)
Uh, it was cold out, I seen a fat man comin'
I hid behind a chimney
And bust him in the skull with a bottle of Jim Beam
I rolled him off the roof and onto the driveway
And jumped in his sleigh ride and tried to fly away
Rudolph bossed off on me, he wouldn't move
I had to kick him in his ass, outta put him in groove
Take me to the hood, to all the poor little kids
This year, everybody about to get some good shit
We landed on a house, I went for the chimney
But the roof was feeble, I crashed through and smashed through the kitchen table
Daddy came bustin' out the bedroom strapped
Third shot blew off my Santa hat, fuck that
I ran out the back door and I hopped a wall