"Let's meet contestant number one
He's a skitsofrantic, serial killer clown
Who says, "woman love his sexy smile"
Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon
Sharon, what's your question?"
"Contestant number one,
I believe first impressions last forever
So let's say you were to come over to my parent's house
And have dinner with me and my family
Tell me what you would do to make
That first impression really stick"
Let's see, uh, well, I'd have to think about it
I might show up in a tux, HA!, but I doubt it
I'd probably just show up naked like I always do
And lick your momma in the eye and tell her, "FUCK YOU!!!"
Hurry up bitch, I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti
I'd pinch her loopy ass and tell her, "Get the food ready!"
Your dad will probably start tripping and get me pissed
I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fucking lips!
It's dinner time, we hearing grace from your mother
I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother
I'm steady staring at your sister, I'll tell you this
You know for only 13, she got some big tits
After that, your dad will try to jump again
And only this time, I'd put the forty to his chin
After you mom does the dishes and the silverware
I'd dry-fuck her till I nut in my underwear
"Now, let's me contestant number two
He's a psychopathic, deranged, crackhead freak
Who works for the Dark Carnival
He says women call him stretch nuts
Sharon, let's hear your question"
"I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions
A man who expresses himself in his own special way
Number two, if you fell in love with me
Exactly how would you let me know?"